I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
ugly people sure do ruin things
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
