yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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