If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
