all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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