is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
