I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
