im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
