Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
