I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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