I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
