maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
