Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
