I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
