Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
