so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
