You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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