you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
