I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
