why didn't you poke me back
It's Friday. Sex?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
