he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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