"it" just moved
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
