I cockslap morals
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just got carded by a ten year old.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
