My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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