just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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