with your own penis?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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