You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
