Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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