Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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