dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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