If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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