if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
