found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize