whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
from now on my penis is your penis
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
