bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
