i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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