Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
