Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
