so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
