why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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