i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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