His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
