yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I love having hate sex.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
