He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This is my gift to your gina
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
