problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
