what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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