I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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