Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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