I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
