I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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