So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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