I think I won the penis lottery.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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