Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
