Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
