i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
