Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
