I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
