We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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