bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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