Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
