i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
