so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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