I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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