the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
