He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
